[MHml] Boating, a mental disorder?

[Jim Conlin]

Shhh!

Heaven forbid that your customers or their wives or accountatnts hear of
this!
----- Original Message ----- 
From: "brian eiland" <beiland at usa.net>
To: <multihulls at steamradio.com>
Sent: Sunday, October 29, 2006 2:40 PM
Subject: [MHml] Boating, a mental disorder?


> Boating, a mental disorder?
>
>
> DIVINE MADNESS
>
> As a marine professional - one who prepares wood, then applies varnish to
so
> called pleasure boats - I have written to the President of the American
> Psychiatric Association in the hope he will include a new mental disorder
in
> the next edition of their psychiatric bible, the Diagnostic and
Statistical
> Manual (DSM).
>
> The little-understood affliction is called Recreational Boat Ownership
(RBO).
> RBO is characterized by some anal retentive/obsessive-compulsive behavior,
the
> use of strange words to describe common structures, objects, and actions,
> clearly illogical spending habits, and a nearly-perpetual state of denial.
> There is no known cure.
>
> The obsessive-compulsive nature of RBOs is exhibited by their Sisipheon
> attempts to keep things "shipshape." It involves the anal retentive use of
> numerous - and sometimes noxious - liquids and solids to almost constantly
> clean and lubricate various boat parts. And RBO sufferers uniformly label
boat
> parts with names even stranger than doctors call body parts. As a mental
> health professional, you'll be shocked to learn that to RBOs, a 'wall'
becomes
> a 'bulkhead', a'ceiling' becomes an 'overhead', and the toilet becomes,
> simply, a 'head'. Any group which sees their heads as toilets definitely
needs
> help.
>
> Sailboat owners - a subculture of RBOs - are among the worst. They
constantly
> demonstrate classic passive-aggressive signs by not sailing directly into
the
> wind but avoiding such a course with sly manipulations they call tacking.
They
> become models of self-victimization - with traces of a persecution
complex -
> when they encounter no wind. They call that state 'in irons'. And they
show
> their grandiosity by terming bow platforms 'pulpits', and motorized yachts
> 'stink pots'.
>
> Nowhere have I seen such mental illness as with the people who hire me to
> prepare and varnish their objects of dementia. Sure, after spending
reasonable
> amounts of good money to have me carefully remove the old finish, finely
sand
> the underlying wood and apply coats of high-quality varnish for an
amazingly
> beautiful finish, they say things like "Great!" "Looks better than new!"
and
> "You've got a true art for restoring neglected wood." But they're only
fooling
> themselves. For at best, an RBO sufferer - like all mankind - can only
> temporarily conquer the elements.
>
> RBO victims are not in total denial when it comes to their illogical
spending
> habits. Many call their vessels "holes in the water into which you pour
> money." Yet they keep buying them. And they keep demonstrating their
psychosis
> - their complete loss of touch with reality - by enjoying them. It's proof
> positive the whole lot is masochistic.
>
> This is why I petition you to list RBO in your next edition of the DSM. At
the
> least, it will make the millions of RBO sufferers eligible for medical
> benefits under the Americans with Disabilities Act so they can get help.
>
> Many have, instead, spent their last penny getting their latest RBO fix.
For
> these clearly touched souls act out Plato's maxim, listed in his
Dialogues,
> when he opined: "But what is man's logical reasoning, compared to the
power of
> divine madness?""
>
>
>
> Fredric Alan Maxwell aka 'Fred the Finisher'
> Copyright 2006 by Fredric Alan Maxwell. All rights reserved.
> (I met Fred yesterday morning at a coffee shop in Wash DC, and he gave me
> permission to place this on the forum. Brian)
>
>
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